The Breath that Passed from You to Me
by BabyBrown
Summary: Takes place after Mark and Lexie's very short, very unsatisfying, conversation/fight/whatever at the end of the last episode.
1. Chapter 1

**Rating:** M  
**Word Count:** 2,066

**Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.  
**  
Summary:** This takes place after the last aired episode (6x12) after Mark and Lexie's very short, very unsatisfying, conversation/fight/whatever.

**Author's Notes:** Okay, so I didnt really plan on writing this fic right here. I'm not sure how long it's gonna be or where it's gonna end up. All I know is that for some reason the words keep bleeding out of me, taking up at least twenty pages of a word document right now and it's still growing. So yay for you guys lol ;) (I'm also simultaneously working on chapter 12 of _'Nothing Else Matters' _so double yay!)

I'm really proud of how this story is coming out.

Enjoy =)

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_"I slept with Addison." _

_He hadn't meant to blurt it out so bluntly but there it was. The truth was out there and the weight was instantly lifted off his shoulders. He tensed and waited for the yelling or the tears to start but what he did not expect was what__ appeared on her face. Relief. _

_"Oh, thank God because I slept with Alex" Lexie said with a rush of breath, __"I was feeling so, well, you know how I was feeling, which is why this is, this is great. We know, we're even. We kind of cancelled each other out." The relief in her voice was obvious. She was glad he slept with Addison if only to make herself feel less guilty about her own indiscretion. _

_"You slept with Karev." His gut began to twist and turn in disgust. He expected this kind of behavior from himself but not from Lexie. Not his Lexie._

_"Yeah." __Worry began to make it's appearance on her face when she realized he wasn't relieved as well and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why not. He had slept with Addison after all. This put the both of them on even footing. Her stomach sank to her feet when she saw the anger and irritation flash behind his eyes. She had seen that look many times before, just never directed at her._

_"While I was dealing with my sick daughter, while I was hurting-" he argued._

_"Uh, you weren't hurting. You were sleeping with Addison." Lexie shot back, her own irritation rising. He couldn't have been in that much pain if he was able to hop into bed with Addison. Still, his anger was not going away._

_"You broke up with me...left me, ha just...wow." His eyes then suddenly swerved away from her face to a point over her right shoulder. __"I can't even look at you right now" his words came out in a monotone voice before he just walked away._

_Lexie watched him go with a maelstrom of emotions swirling inside of her chest. _

--

Meredith Grey entered her beautiful childhood home at two in the morning, eager to get some sleep after a particularly long shift. Unwrapping the scarf from around her neck, she placed it on the coat hanger along with her coat. After removing her shoes by the door, she began making her way up the stairs when she heard voices coming from the kitchen. Her ascension up the stairs was put on hold when she recognized her younger sister's voice.

At first, Meredith wondered who Lexie was talking to. Derek had still been at the hospital when she left, Izzie had decided to mysteriously disappear from their lives once again and Alex was, thankfully, making himself scarce since "the incident." If she really thought about it, or cared, she would have guessed Alex was off celebrating his new single status, most likely with that Mercy West resident.

The only other person Meredith could think of was Mark Sloan, and Meredith knew for a fact that Mark wasn't going to be anywhere near this house for a long time. Derek had told her not to wait up for him because apparently Mark needed him. She assumed that meant drinks at Joe's, which could only mean one thing. Mark found out about Alex and Lexie sleeping together.

Meredith walked back down the stairs and listened closely when she realized that there was only one voice coming from the room. Lexie, it seemed, was talking to herself. Not a good sign Meredith told herself. Even though she really didn't want to get involved in Mark and Lexie's drama, she at least wanted to make sure Lexie wasn't suffering some sort of mental breakdown.

Meredith quietly approached the kitchen and slowly opened the door. After one glance she knew she no longer had to worry about Lexie getting fat from binge eating because Lexie was no longer using food as a form of stress relief. No, this time she had moved on to Meredith's own unhealthy problem solver; the wonderful José Cuervo. Seeing that red and gold label, Meredith knew it was going to be a long night.

--

Two hours passed and Meredith sat at the table, continuing to watch her sister. The entire situation would have been extremely funny if it wasn't so pathetic. Was this how she looked in the beginning of her relationship with Derek? When the pain was so unbearable that she had to drink herself into oblivion?

"_Hindsight is definitely 20/20_" she thought.

Meredith watched intently as her younger sister swayed around the empty kitchen. It was four in the morning and Lexie was currently making her way through the same bottle of tequila. For once, Meredith was glad that the grumpy inebriated person with relationship problems was not her. On a separate (and selfish) note, she was also glad that she didn't have to go back to the hospital for another twenty four hours. Babysitting a drunk was exhausting.

Bringing her attention back to her sister, it sort of amused her that despite her childhood of dark and twisty, she was the happily married one of the two Grey girls. The other Grey girl was now alternating between talking to herself and yelling at an invisible occupant of the room. Meredith could only guess the identity of that invisible person.

"I don't think Mark can hear you from here Lexie." Meredith said sarcastically. It wasn't very nice or supportive, but she just couldn't help herself.

Lexie sharply glared at her older sister before realizing that Mark wasn't actually in the room.

She then sat down at the kitchen table and yelled into Meredith's face like only a drunk could.

"He can't look at me?! How can he not look at me?!"

If there was one thing Lexie was while drunk, it definitely wasn't happy. Meredith winced as she felt tiny drops of spit hit her face.

"_She's also a sloppy drunk"_ Meredith thought as she wiped the moisture from her face.

There was no point in answering Lexie's question. She already tried having a serious conversation with Lexie when she first came into the kitchen but all Lexie wanted to do was drown herself in alcohol. At this point, Meredith was just watching to make sure Lexie didn't do something stupid. Like a "sleep with Alex" kind of something stupid.

Lexie glared at her sister for no reason before downing another shot of tequila and Meredith noticed that more than half the bottle was gone. She admittedly didn't know much about her younger sister but what she did know was that Lexie didn't have a high tolerance for alcohol. Meredith also knew that Lexie had finished an entire bottle of wine before she had even entered the kitchen two hours ago. The red stains on the tablecloth was proof of that. So when Lexie swallowed another shot and showed no signs of stopping, Meredith snatched the bottle away from her.

"Hey!"

Meredith easily dodged Lexie's drunken attempt to grab the bottle back and walked to the sink. She then reluctantly emptied the rest of the bottle down the drain. Even though she didn't want Lexie drinking herself to the point of needing a trip to the hospital, Meredith could still mourn the loss of perfectly good tequila.

"You'll thank me in the morning" Meredith said wryly.

She then tossed the empty bottle into the recycling and walked back over to Lexie, who was now banging her head against the kitchen table. Meredith sat down and lightly tapped her shoulder.

"Hey! That's not gonna make you feel any better."

"It hurts less than what I'm feeling right now" Lexie groaned as she momentarily stopped. Meredith rolled her eyes when Lexie resumed her banging.

Not for the first time, Meredith couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that Mark Sloan was the man currently tying her sister into tequila soaked knots. When she first found out Mark and Lexie were sleeping together, she thought it was just that. _Just sex_. But when Mark stood up for his relationship with Lexie, which resulted in a fist fight with Derek, Meredith had a strange suspicion that whatever was going on between them was something more. That same feeling grew when Mark had asked Lexie to move in with him. Meredith had more in common with Mark than she did with her own sister so she knew that he would only ask Lexie to move in with him if he was serious about her.

Sex...sex was easy. Living with someone wasn't. In fact, it was one of the scariest things in the world. She never thought that would be a road Mark Sloan would ever take, let alone bring her little sister along for the ride. But even so, if there was one thing Meredith was sure of, it was that without a shadow of a doubt, Mark Sloan was actually in love with her sister.

Meredith's internal musings were put on hold when Lexie suddenly doubled over and puked on the floor.

"Great. Just great" Meredith said before getting the roll of paper towels. She cleaned up the mess while Lexie placed her head on the table again. Meredith got up again and returned to the table with a damp piece of paper. She held it out to Lexie so she could wipe her mouth.

"It's not fair," Lexie moaned. "He slept with someone. I slept with someone. We're supposed to be even. But for some reason I'm the dirty whore."

"You're the dirty mistress" Meredith corrected.

Lexie gave her Meredith what she could only describe as the '_stink eye_.'

"I'm your sister. You're supposed to be on my side."

"I am. I'm just also on Mark's."

"Meredith" Lexie protested.

"Now I'm not saying that Mark is completely innocent cause he's not. He asked the pregnant teenager daughter he just met to move in without asking you. He expected you to help raise a teenager and a baby, which you couldn't handle. So you asked him to choose between you and Sloan, and he chose Sloan. Believe me when I tell you that I completely understand getting drunk and sleeping with other men when the man you love chooses another woman." Meredith briefly remembered how she felt when Derek had left her for Addison. The heartbreaking pain of being left behind would always haunt her.

Meredith shook her head as if to erase those painful memories. "But you've also got to see it from his side. You break up with him and then not even a day later, you hop into bed with another man."

Meredith held her hand up when it looked like Lexie was going to object. "Being drunk doesn't give you an excuse. You hurt him. Badly. I know a little bit how Mark's mind works. We both believed that we were unlovable. That no matter what we did or said, the person we loved would leave and you proved him right. You left him."

Lexie looked up at Meredith's words. "You think he loved me?"

Meredith rolled her eyes "Do you really have to ask Lexie?"

Lexie's eyes filled with tears as every decision and mistake she made in the past couple days flooded her mind. "I should never have made him choose. Sloan is his daughter. He was right to choose her."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less" Meredith said and placed her hand on Lexie's; a comforting gesture she had not planned on.

Lexie looked up at her sister with tear filled eyes, looking like a child. Meredith couldn't understand how anyone could look so young and innocent as Lexie could.

"I hurts like hell" Lexie moaned, placing a hand over her heart.

She then opened her mouth to say something else when her eyes widened and she held a hand to her mouth. This time, Meredith was prepared and shoved the trash can underneath Lexie. With another uncharacteristic move, Meredith rubbed her sister's back as she heaved into the garbage.

"On that note, I think it's time for bed."

* * *

**Title comes from _Between Two Lungs _off the album _Lungs_ by Florence and the Machine - the unofficial soundtrack to this fic, at least in my head lol.**

**Please review and let me know what you think. I'd really appreciate it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rating:** M  
**Word Count:** 2760

**Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.  
**  
Summary:** This takes place after the last aired episode (6x12) after Mark and Lexie's very short, very unsatisfying, conversation/fight/whatever.

**Author's Notes:** There's a bit of cursing in this chapter.

Enjoy =)

* * *

**Chapter 2**

When Derek entered Joe's bar, he didn't immediately notice his best friend. That alone gave Derek pause and his first clue that something was wrong. Normally, Mark Sloan would be surrounded by dozens of people; most of them women. It really wasn't anything Mark consciously did, everyone just always seemed to gravitate toward him. It wasn't until Derek caught the eye of Joe behind the bar that he finally noticed Mark. The grave look and frown on Joe's face while nodding towards Mark didn't exactly fill Derek with any optimism.

Derek walked cautiously over to Mark and nodded at Joe, who silently made his way down the bar to his other customers. He sat at a stool on Mark's right and noticed he was uncharacteristically hunched over the bar, silently nursing a beer. Derek also noticed the five shot glasses sitting in front of him on the counter; three of them were already empty. He could already smell the whisky seeping out of Mark's skin. Derek groaned inwardly. Mark was never a good drunk; neither happy nor quiet. He tended to drift towards being introspective, unruly and confrontational. Not a good mix in a man as big as Mark.

"Mark! What's going on?" Derek said with a cheerfulness he didn't feel.

Mark didn't even look up as he took a long swig of his beer. "The end of the world."

Derek frowned, "Is it Sloan? Did something happen to the baby?" He hadn't heard any bad news so he figured Sloan and the baby had been doing fine. He was relieved when Mark shook his head.

"No. Sloan's fine. She's just **great**." Mark said with a voice Derek didn't find too positive.

"What happened?" he asked.

Mark was silent for a moment before responding, "Sloan decided to give up the baby for adoption. Apparently Addison gave her the idea and Sloan was more than happy to run with it."

Derek sighed and rubbed his forehead. He had known there was a possibility this was going to happen. Sloan was obviously not cut out to be a mother at eighteen. From the brief visits he's had with her, all he perceived was that she was a very selfish teenage girl who was not going to be able to put someone else's needs before her own.

"She didn't even ask for my opinion. She just went ahead and got an appointment with the adoption agency."

"It was her decision Mark. It's a horrible thing to say but she just wasn't cut out to be a mom." Derek said as he placed a hand on Mark's shoulder.

"Well, I was ready to be a dad" Mark burst out, shrugging Derek's hand off his shoulder. He obviously didn't want to be comforted right now. "After all the yelling and all the fighting and all the worrying, I was finally feeling like a real father. One who would do anything for their kids."

"Sloan is still your kid Mark. That's never going to change. You'll always be a father" Derek countered.

"She didn't come back with me to Seattle Derek. She went back to her mother and I haven't heard from her since." Mark picked up his beer and drained it in less than five seconds. "I'm nothing more than a rich sperm donor to her."

Derek was going to say something he hoped would be comforting when Mark spoke again.

And you want to know what the icing on the cake is?" Mark then looked at Derek for the first time since their conversation started and Derek didn't like what he saw in his eyes. His cold blue eyes were empty; they completely lacked any emotion.

"Lexie left me." Mark's hand then shot out like lighting and grabbed one of the shot glasses in front of him; swallowing it quickly as if to wash away the bad taste the words left in his mouth. "When given the choice between Sloan or Lexie, I chose Sloan. And look what it got me" Mark said with a wry laugh before swallowing the remaining shot.

Derek sighed with relief when Joe walked over asking for drink orders. He was going to need something stronger than a beer to get through this conversation.

---

For the next two hours, Derek listened to Mark rant and rave about what happened with Lexie. He told him about sleeping with Addison and then finding out Lexie slept with Alex Karev. Derek's head felt like it was being smashed with a sledgehammer. The entire situation was a huge, messy clusterfuck of pain and heartbreak.

"How could she sleep with someone else!" Mark said with a loud voice, oblivious to the stares he was getting from the entire bar. Everyone was already giving them a wide berth; as if they could sense the black hole Mark Sloan had become and were afraid to be sucked in.

"How could you?" Derek countered.

Mark turned to glare at his best friend "I am not the bad guy here Derek. She broke up with me. She left me."

"You did chose another woman over her" Derek commented before taking a sip of his drink

"Sloan was not another woman. She was my daughter." Derek ignored the use of past tense when Mark talked about Sloan but knew better than to correct him. That would have to be a conversation for another time.

"And Lexie is the woman you love." Derek then shook his head in disbelief, "Wow. I never thought I'd ever say those words."

Mark ignored the comment, "I had to choose Sloan. That's what you're supposed to do. You have to choose your kid."

"She's also pregnant Mark. How do you think that made Lexie feel? When you decided, all by yourself, to invite Sloan and her potentially special needs baby to move in without talking to her first? I would be more surprised if she didn't break up with you."

Mark spoke as if he didn't hear a word Derek said.

"She's supposed to support me. She's my girlfriend."

Derek smiled to himself as he noticed Mark still referring to Lexie as his girlfriend.

"That doesn't mean she has to agree with every decision you make. That's not how a relationship works."

Mark groaned "Do not give me relationship advice right now. I'm not even in a relationship anymore."

"You have to talk to her Mark." Derek knew it had to be said.

"I don't want to talk to her." Mark's mouth slightly pouted like a kid not wanting to do something.

"Well what did you expect would happen Mark? That Sloan would give birth and you'd all be an instant happy family?" His silence made it clear that was exactly what Mark expected.

"Lexie is only twenty five years old. She always seems so focused and put together that we all seem to forget that sometimes."

Mark narrowed his eyes at Derek. "Why are you taking her side?"

"I'm not. I'm just trying to make you see that none of this is easy for the both of you. Lexie was just getting used to the fact that you have a child not much younger than her. That alone would have sent most women packing. But she stayed and supported you through that. She tried making Sloan feel welcome, which I heard was not an easy task." Derek paused for a moment to make sure Mark absorbed that information. "You were both hurting and both chose to sleep with someone else. You BOTH handled the situation badly."

---

Mark silently swirled the remaining liquid in his glass before swallowing it in one shot. The whisky blazed a trail down his throat and settled uneasily in his belly. Hearing Derek defend Lexie's side of the story made it that much harder to feel anger towards her. At this point anger was all he had left before the heartbreaking pain would begin to crush him. He had never felt so sick before in his entire life.

"I hate it when you make sense."

Derek laughed "That's cause I'm smarter than you."

Mark rubbed his hand against the day old stubble that was growing on his face. He couldn't bring himself to shave, knowing that Lexie preferred him with facial hair. Even though he was hurt and angry, there was still a small part of him that wanted to stay close to her. Besides that, he was just too exhausted to worry about his appearance.

"I didn't think anything could hurt this much" Mark softly admitted to Derek and to himself. "I thought sex would help. It's always helped before. Especially sex with Addison."

"I didn't need to know that" Derek interjected.

Mark reached for another drink. "But the sex made everything worse. Now I feel like I can't breathe." He then placed his hand over his heart. "It feels like something is sitting on my chest, keeping me from breathing. I'm a world class surgeon and I can't figure out why I can't breathe. Why can't I breathe Derek?" Mark asked him.

"Because you're actually in love with someone other than yourself" Derek said with a sad smile, hoping to inject a tiny bit of humor in a humorless situation before the corners of his mouth turned downward into a frown.

"Have you ever felt like you couldn't breathe?" Mark asked.

A short laugh escaped Derek's lips. "I'm with Meredith. What do you think?"

Derek felt a small ripple of relief as a corner of Mark's mouth quivered slightly, like he was holding back a smile. That relief was short lived when Mark's face turned grim once more.

"You know I asked Addison to help me raise the baby?"

Derek choked on his drink "What?"

"I knew that on some level Sloan wasn't going to be able to take care of the baby on her own. I figured that maybe if the three of us lived together, we could all take care of the baby and still have lives. Addison was up for it."

All of a sudden, Derek felt like he was in the Twilight Zone. "She was?"

Mark nodded. "For about five minutes before I took it back."

"I'm getting whiplash from this conversation. Why did you take it back?"

Mark sighed tiredly "She asked me if I would still stay with her if there was no baby. To only ask if I was serious about being with her and not if I was still in love with someone else."

Derek was almost afraid to ask "So what happened?"

Mark scoffed before taking a drink "I'm here aren't I?"

"That was not one of your better ideas" Derek said after a few moments of silence.

"No kidding" Mark laughed briefly before turning somber.

Derek could hear and see the pain his best friend was dealing with. While he felt sorry for what Mark was going through, Derek couldn't help but be happy that he was finally going through something real. To his surprise, Mark Sloan managed to have a meaningful relationship with one woman. A relationship that lasted for almost a year with no infidelity.

"I hate what she's done to me" Mark said, interrupting Derek's thoughts.

"I hate that she was the one to put me back together. It gave her all the power. From the beginning, she's had all the power. You know what that makes me? The woman. I'm the woman in our relationship." Mark knocked back another shot, "I hate her."

Derek scoffed "You love her."

"I hate her."

"You love her."

"I hate you." Mark then sighed as his irritation faded. "What it is about those Grey girls?"

"I'm married to one and I still haven't figured it out" Derek said with a laugh. He smiled a bit wider when he saw Mark join in with a brief chuckle.

The door to Joe's jingled and Derek looked over his shoulder to see who entered the bar and the smile fell from his face. Mark, noticing the sudden change in Derek's mood, followed his line of sight. It took only a second to recognize the newcomer and his fists clenched immediately. Mark felt like there was liquid rage running through his veins. The last person he ever wanted to see had just walked into the bar.

Derek looked at Mark and knew that he had noticed the bar's new occupant. He also knew that the best thing right now would be for them to leave immediately.

"Mark, why don't we call it a night? It's late and I've got an early surgery scheduled tomorrow."

Mark swallowed the rest of his drink and slammed the glass down on the bar. "I'm not going anywhere. Not until that prick understands who he's messed with."

Mark stood from his stool and brushed off Derek's attempts to hold him back. For someone who should be passed out by the amount of alcohol in his system, Mark barely stumbled as he walked over to two people sitting in a dark corner booth. One was Alex and the other he recognized as one of the Mercy West residents. He couldn't remember her name; Reese or something like that. Not that it really mattered to him.

When he reached the table, Mark grabbed Alex's shoulders and pulled him to his feet.

Alex quickly turned to face him and instantly tensed when he saw who grabbed him.

"What do you want?" Alex asked, annoyance evident on his face. Mark could tell this wasn't how Alex expected his night to go when he came into the bar. He took another glance at the woman sitting in the booth and frowned.

"That isn't Stevens."

"Great observational skills."

"Aren't you still married Karev?"

Alex crossed his arms in front of his chest "How is that any of your business Sloan?"

And Mark thought he was bad for sleeping with his best friend's wife. Here Karev was on a date while his cancer surviving wife was probably still in the hospital waiting for her PET scan results. This was the man that slept with his Lexie. The man whose hands were in places only his were allowed to go.

Mark didn't even realize he had punched Alex until he felt the stinging pain in his right hand. He later told himself that he really hadn't meant to punch him. But he wouldn't be lying if he didn't admit it felt good.

Alex was knocked back a couple steps from the force of the blow and was holding his hand up to his face. Mark's punch had split his lip; causing small drops of blood to stain his chin.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem!"

"You slept with my girlfriend. That's my problem_ **dude**_" he said the last word with a mocking tone.

Alex wiped the blood off his chin with the edge of his sleeve. Not one to back down from a fight, he smiled and taunted Mark.

"She wasn't your girlfriend when I fucked her."

This time when Mark swung his fist, it collided with Alex's nose.

"Fuck!" Alex swore as blood exploded from his nose.

Before Mark could take another step towards him, Owen Hunt suddenly appeared at Mark's side. Mark hadn't even noticed he was in the bar. Hunt had an uncanny way of moving around silently and appearing at the right moment.

Mark felt Owen's hand on his arm. He hadn't even noticed that he had pulled it back with the intent to punch Alex a second time. It scared him a little at the way he wasn't in control of his own body.

"That's enough Mark. I think he got the point" Owen calmly told him. He was obviously a master at diffusing tense situations.

Mark pulled his arm out of Owen's grasp and stomped out of the bar; deaf to the sounds of Alex's painful moans and the calls from Derek.

He needed to get some air.

* * *

**Title comes from _Between Two Lungs _off the album _Lungs_ by Florence and the Machine - the unofficial soundtrack to this fic, at least in my head lol.**

**Please review and let me know what you think. I'd really appreciate it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I accidentally injured my left hand cleaning my stove (weird I know) and I couldn't type without being in pain.  
Here is Chapter 3, which surprised me by being pretty long with about 2867 words. I'm also working on the next chapter of **_Nothing Else Matters_**, so look out for that soon :D**

**And I want to thank everyone for the reviews and the favorites and the story alerts! You guys are awesome!**

* * *

Mark pulled the collar of his leather jacket up around his neck as a cold wind suddenly breezed past him. He was thankful that it was one of those rare nights that wasn't plagued with rain. He had been walking around for about two hours before his anger finally simmered down to a slow boil. He wasn't seeing through a red haze like he was before; instead, the anger was just resting under his skin where he had the smallest amount of control over it. But even that small control felt tenuous.

His own rage and earlier display of violence surprised him. Sure, he's been angry before but never at that level; a rage so intense it was like something was possessing him. Something that wanted nothing more than to inflict pain on everyone and everything. To do something to release the pain and torment inside of him.

Nobody ever told him that loving someone _this much_ would hurt. Love was supposed to be this wonderful, happy_ thing_. Something that made you want to burst out in song or make your soul fly...at least that's what all the inane chick flicks promised. It wasn't supposed to make him feel like bashing his head against a wall until he could no longer think...until he could no longer feel. Ever since _she_ cut him out of her life, everything was just falling apart around him. It was all turning to shit and he didn't know how to stop it.

Mark groaned as his hand started to pulse in pain and opened and closed his hand in order to assess the damage. Even in his semi-drunk state, he could tell that his hand wasn't broken. At least there was that silver lining. He flexed his hand again and realized that this was the second time he's punched someone for her. _Twice_ he's risked losing everything he's worked so hard to get...for her. He fought hard for Lexie; fought harder for her than he's ever fought for anything in his life. At last, he thought, he had someone that was his. Someone that he loved and that loved him back. Now look at him; left with nothing and no one.

Why did she have to come to his hotel room? Why did she have to put him back together and make him long for things he never thought he could have?

Mark stopped walking and closed his eyes as the pain washed over him again.

_Why did she have to make him love her?_

Because he did love her. He still does. If he didn't know anything else, he did know that. As much as he tried not to and as much as he tried to fight it, she was still able to ambush her way into his heart. That's what hurt so much; for the first time in his life, _he went to Denver_. For the first time, he finally let someone in all the way and she broke his heart.

Mark opened his eyes and was momentarily stunned with what was in front of him. Without realizing it, his walk had led him straight to the front of Meredith's house...well, Meredith and Derek's house. Seeing a light on, he figured Derek was home so he lifted his hand to knock but then hesitated.

Firstly, he didn't want to see sickening displays of affection between the two newlyweds. Ever since they "got married" with a post-it note, Derek and Meredith seemed to have no problems. They were like the poster couple for happy and healthy relationships, which struck him as ironic considering their collective past.

The second reason he didn't want to enter the house was because there was a good chance Lexie was inside.

When he had gotten back from L.A., the first thing he noticed was the empty space in his apartment. Lexie's clothes were gone from the drawers and the closets. For so long, he had been surrounded by her things that he felt an unexpected pain when he noticed that even her toothbrush was gone. A panic came over him as he then searched the entire apartment for some sign that she had lived there. After an hour of searching, the only item he was able to find was her key to the apartment on the kitchen counter.

Standing in front of Meredith's door, Mark stuffed his hand in his pocket and removed the key inside of it. For days that key never left his pocket and if someone were to ask him why he carried it, he would simply tell them it was a spare key. But he knew that the only reason he still carried it was because it was the last thing Lexie touched before she left the apartment...before she left his life. Mark remembered that first day Lexie moved in to his apartment.

---

_The corner's of Mark's mouth lifted slightly at the sight of Lexie unexpectedly showing up at his door._

_"Hey" he said softly._

_Lexie merely just smiled and raised her hands, one holding a green toothbrush and the other holding up a pair of black silk panties. As she lowered the items into his outstretched hand with a sigh and a smile, Mark felt euphoric. Lexie was moving in with him__._

_Mark opened the door wider and moved out of the way as she rolled her big suitcase into the apartment, both of them sharing a brief laugh. _

_Lexie came to a stop in the middle of the living room and turned back to face him. __"So where do I put this?" Lexie asked a little self-consciously._

_Mark stared at her momentarily. Seeing her now, standing in his apartment with a whole bunch of her stuff made him realize how empty his apartment was before she came in. This whole situation just felt so right somehow._

_Mark walked over to her and grabbed the handle of her suitcase. He then wordlessly rolled it into his bedroom. Lexie followed him into the room and smiled. There were clothes strewn everywhere and unopened boxes stacked in a corner. _

_"I see you haven't unpacked yet" Lexie said with a laugh. _

_Mark laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I was kind of hoping we could do that together."_

_Lexie folded her arms across her chest and tilted her head to the side. "You knew I was going to cave didn't you?"_

_Mark shrugged "Hoped was more like it." _

_He watched as she looked at the messy room and then back at her suitcase. When she bit her lip, he knew that she was having second thoughts about this. Mark__ slowly walked over to her and placed both of his hands on her upper arms. When she still didn't look at him, Mark placed a hand under her chin and lifted her face up. His heart skipped a beat as he saw the worry and doubt in her brown eyes._

_"This is going to work Lexie."_

_Lexie sighed, "How can you know that?"_

_"I just do Lexie." _

_When he saw that she was going to need a bit more, he uncharacteristically opened up. _

_"You know why I didn't unpack?" Mark asked. _

_"Because you're lazy?" Lexie offered with a teasing smile, which Mark returned._

_"Cute but no. I didn't unpack because I wanted us to unpack our stuff together. When I bought this apartment, I wanted it to be _ours_. I wanted to fight over who got the control or which side of the bed we slept on." Mark moved his hand from her chin and cupped the side of her face; lazily rubbing circles on her cheek with his thumb._

_"Lexie, I've been alone for thirty eight years; sometimes by circumstance but mostly by choice. There was never anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with...until now. For the first time in my life, I _want_ to take the next step. I want to take the next step with you Lexie." Even though everything he said was true, Mark couldn't help but feel a little worried that he said too much. That old instinctual habit of keeping everything so tightly bound to himself was a hard habit to break. But he knew that if he wanted Lexie to stay, he was going to have to let her in more then he's ever had before._

_"What about Addison?" she asked hesitantly. Addison was usually a topic they stayed clear of but Lexie needed to know, just to be safe._

_Mark sighed and briefly looked away from her before meeting her eyes again. "I'm not going to lie, I loved her. And after Derek left, I thought we were finally going to be together." Mark took a breath, "But it wasn't real. She was in love with someone else and I was in love with an illusion. The only reason we lasted as long as we did was because she knew no one else wanted her."_

_They both stared at each other as Mark waited for Lexie to speak._

_"How do you know that the same thing won't happen to us?" Lexie said silently, almost as if she was afraid of his answer._

_"Because during the entire time Addison and I were together, I never felt like how I feel when I'm with you" Mark admitted._

_"And how's that?" she said softly._

_"Like I'm worth it" he said with a playful smile. __Lexie laughed briefly as a tear rolled down her cheek. _

_Mark quickly brushed it away with his thumb before continuing, __"When you look at me Lexie, I feel wanted. Not for sex and not for money...but for me. Like me being in your life makes it better."_

_"You _do_ make it better" Lexie supplied with caring eyes. That one look reinforced everything Mark knew. Little Lexie Grey was_ **it**_ for him. _

_Mark's face turned unbearably soft as he looked into Lexie's eyes, __"__I love you Lexie" he whispered, "I love you like I've never loved anyone or anything before."_

_Lexie gasped softly. It was the first time either of them had said the "L word" out loud._

_They stood in silence as his words hung in the air; their breaths the only sound in the room._

_"You don't have to say-" __He started when Lexie placed a finger on his lips. Then bringing her hands up to cradle his face, Lexie stood on her toes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. The kind of kiss that was heartbreakingly sweet and loving and that said everything they were feeling without words. Mark moaned softly before tightly wrapping his arms around her body. This was the kind of kiss that made him never want to move from this spot for the rest of his life._

---

Mark's breath stilled when he remembered how later that night, after christening their new bed, Lexie breathed the words "_I love you too_" into his hair as she held his head sweetly against her chest.

The thought of no longer coming home to Lexie filled him with a sorrow he never thought himself capable of feeling. He couldn't even remember who he used to be before Lexie came into his life. She had wormed her way into his heart and changed him; leaving her mark on him for everyone to see.

"He broke Alex's nose?!" came Meredith's shocked voice, suddenly snapping Mark back into reality.

"It was like he was possessed. I've never seen him so angry before" Derek's voice replied.

Mark was still standing with his raised fist when he overheard Derek and Meredith's voices. Even though he didn't really want to hear people talking about him, his curiosity got the better of him. He crept closer to the side of the house where he noticed an open window; the shadows of the house wrapping around him.

"You should have seen Lexie. I don't think I've ever seen her so upset. Or drunk." Meredith said.

Mark's eyebrows knit together in confusion. Lexie never gets drunk. Seeing her father moments from dying of liver failure caused Lexie to have an aversion to drinking. His heart momentarily clenched in worry before he pushed it away. Lexie in pain was good right? He wanted her to feel as badly as he did. But even so, why did the thought of Lexie in pain cause him to feel sick inside?

"Where is she anyway?" Derek's inquiring voice asked.

"I tried to bring her upstairs by myself but after she fell the second time, I decided to just leave her on the couch. I left the garbage pail and a couple aspirin by her side."

Mark could hear Derek's stifled laughter. "Since when did you become so caring?"

Meredith's voice laughed "I blame you...making me grow and evolve."

"I think there's something else that's growing and evolving" came Derek's husky tone.

Their voices began to grow deeper and more hushed and Mark knew he didn't want to hear anymore. He waited patiently until Derek and Meredith's voices drifted upstairs. When he heard the bedroom door slam, Mark quietly stepped out of the shadows. He didn't mean to look in the front window but he figured he was always a glutton for punishment so why stop now?

When he looked in, there was Lexie passed out on the couch just like Meredith said. She was facing the back of the couch so he could only see the back of her body. He watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, which for some cruel and ironic reason calmed the storm inside him with each breath. Mark frowned to himself. She wasn't supposed to be able to do that anymore. They were broken up. His emotions should no longer be tied so closely to hers. He told himself everything he could to try and push her out of his heart.

But as Mark continued to watch her sleep, he didn't notice how his breathing unconsciously began to mirror hers. Their chests moving in sync with every collective breath they took.

-----

Rolling her tongue around her mouth, a dirty ashtray came to Lexie's mind. She hadn't gotten drunk since med school and forgot how bad the next day always felt. Lexie groaned and pressed a hand to her left temple. It was like all the blood in her body seemed to be headed towards her head, making her feel like it was about to explode.

"Ow," came her painful moan. "I'm never drinking again" she promised herself.

Lexie slowly sat up and took in her surroundings. She was in Meredith's living room on the couch. Taking a quick look downward, Lexie was relieved to find her clothes still on her body. Drunkenly sleeping with someone was not something she wanted to experience for a second time. Moving at a glacial pace, Lexie reached forward for the aspirin and bottle of water left on the coffee table. The gesture made a smile appear on her face. Meredith didn't think she had a maternal bone in her body but it was apparent by the way she took care of her last night that Meredith had a lot of maternal instincts buried deep _deep_ inside her.

Opening the bottle, Lexie popped the two brown pills into her mouth and took a swig of water. She knew that the medicine wouldn't kick in for a few minutes but she couldn't help but feel better with the addition of fresh water into her system.

Gingerly testing her legs, Lexie slowly rose from the couch. Her stomach was growling and she wanted to eat something small just in case she got sick again. When she stood, Lexie heard a small thud as something hit the floor. Looking down, she realized that Meredith must have covered her with a blanket after she passed out. Bending down to pick it up, Lexie noticed it wasn't a blanket, but a jacket.

A leather jacket.

It suspiciously looked a lot like the leather jacket that _he_ wore. Lexie frowned, that had to be wrong. What would Mark's jacket be doing here? She was sure she would have remembered his presence even if she was drunk out of her mind.

Lexie lifted the jacket to her nose and inhaled. It was indeed Mark's jacket. It smelled of cologne and smoke, clearly meaning he had been in a bar recently. She momentarily thought about throwing the jacket onto the couch but at the last minute, decided to wear it for some reason she couldn't imagine. The leather settled around her body like Mark's arms wrapped around her. A small tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. Lexie wiped it away furiously as she walked to the kitchen.

Clearly from the appearance of Mark's jacket alone, Lexie should have realized that the unexpected was bound to happen. But that didn't keep her from being surprised by what she found behind the kitchen door.

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**Wow. That was pretty long. Hope you enjoyed it! **

**Review please :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**I know, I know. I should be working on **_Nothing Else Matters_**. It's just, this story keeps calling to me and writing itself every time I open up a word document.  
Any and all mistakes are mine.****  
Word Count: 2608**

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A sudden sharp bang on his apartment door caused Mark to spill some of his coffee on the newspaper he was reading. He was seated at the kitchen counter, eating a depressingly lonely breakfast and whoever was at the door was entirely unwelcome at the moment. His head hurt and his hand was turning black and blue so he was in no mood to entertain guests.

"**Mark! Open the door**!"

The unexpected sound of Lexie's angry and impatient voice caused him to spill the rest of his coffee...onto his lap. It took all of his self control to keep quiet as the scolding hot liquid seeped through his sweat pants. When Lexie's banging ceased, he naively prayed that Lexie thought he wasn't home. But his luck wasn't that lucky.

"I know you're in there Mark. I can hear the radio playing."

Mark cursed out loud as he looked at the traitorous radio in question. He was checking in on his beloved Yankees on the East Coast and had forgotten he left the radio on.

"Go away!" he yelled in the direction of the door.

"Not until you open this door!" Lexie yelled back.

Mark could hear the door to Callie's apartment open and Arizona ask Lexie what she was doing.

"Apparently Mark broke Alex's nose last night at Joe's."

Mark couldn't help but smile to himself proudly. He was glad that the pain he was feeling in his hand wasn't for nothing.

"_Jerk deserved it_" he thought to himself.

"Why would Mark break Karev's nose?" Arizona confusedly asked. She was obviously not well versed in Seattle Grace gossip.

"Because I slept with him. Although, that's still not a good excuse for violence." Mark knew that she threw that last bit in for his benefit and scowled childishly at the door.

"_Oh_" was Arizona's only response. A few moments later he heard her politely say she had to get ready for work and closed Callie's door. Mark knew from Callie that Arizona wasn't on call today but was probably hoping not to get involved in his and Lexie's drama. He wished he was able to do the same and remove himself from this fucked up situation. Maybe if he continued to ignore Lexie, she'd leave him alone. Looking back, this was probably not one of his more brilliant plans. But hey, it was early and he was hungover. His synapses weren't firing properly at the moment.

Lexie's banging on the door wasn't doing anything to help his headache and he wished she would just take the hint and leave. Mark was getting prepared to sneak out onto the fire escape if Lexie didn't leave sometime soon when his front door suddenly opened. Mark mentally slapped himself. How drunk was he last night that he couldn't manage to lock his door?

"You broke his nose!" Lexie yelled, obviously deciding to skip small talk.

Mark casually looked up from his place at the kitchen counter with more indifference than he actually felt.

"So?" he said before going back to mopping up his spilled coffee.

"So?! You can't just go around hitting people in the face because they slept with me!" Lexie fumed.

Mark's hands froze and his shoulders momentarily tensed. He _really_ didn't like being reminded there were other men in Lexie's life before him. It was that stupid male pride that made him seethe at the thought of other guys touching Lexie. To Mark, Lexie was _his_...even when she wasn't.

"Why are you here Lexie?"

"You shouldn't have punched Alex."

"Why? Is he your boyfriend now?"

Lexie's fingers uncharacteristically clenched into a fist. She didn't like to inflict pain on others but Mark was seriously testing her patience.

"Shut up."

Mark stood with a speed that put her off balance. "You don't get to tell me what to do anymore. Not since you dumped me and opened your legs for the first guy that showed an interest."

Lexie glared at him before slapping him across the face. The sound of her slap reverberated throughout the room as they stared at each other in shocked silence. They had never, _ever_ raised a hand to each other. Not once. There may have been some playful moments in the bedroom...or whatever room they were in when the mood struck, but it was never anything malicious or hurtful.

Mark brought a hand to his cheek to soothe the sting of her slap while Lexie unconsciously took a step back. Mark brought his hand down to his side before opening his mouth.

"What are you doing here Lexie?" His voice came out very low. "You didn't just come here to slap me for punching Karev, so why are you here?" he asked again. Even though they were no longer together, he was still able to read the emotions on Lexie's face. Although she might have initially come over to tell him off for punching Alex, there was something underneath the surface that told him there was another reason she was here.

"I don't know!" she said, half confused with her own reasoning as to why she came. She had been off kilter the entire day...starting the moment she realized Mark snuck into Meredith's house and draped his jacket around her sleeping body. That one action seemed so out of character for him lately that she had no idea what to make of it. She_ had _come over to scold him for breaking Alex's nose but there was something else that brought her here; mostly curiosity. Was the leather jacket a peace offering? Was he finally thinking like an adult and want to talk rationally? Maybe forgive her for sleeping with Alex and apologize for his own actions with Addison? But his obvious anger at her right now told her she had been mistaken and that he didn't want to start fixing this mess they were in. That revelation caused a sharp pain in her chest.

Mark took in her confused and pained expression and the anger flooded out of his body. If there was one thing that could flip the switch on his emotions, it was Lexie. Just one look from her could make him forget he was even angry in the first place. That was one of the reasons why he couldn't make himself look at her; it was way too tempting to just take her in his arms and forget everything. He hated that his feelings didn't stop once the relationship ended.

This entire situation suddenly made him really tired. Rubbing his face with the palm of his hand, he walked over and sat on the back of the couch.

"I hate fighting with you" he truthfully admitted.

A few painfully silent seconds passed before Lexie walked over to sit next to him; not close enough to touch but close enough that he could feel her body heat.

"I never thought this would be us. Did you?" Mark asked her.

"I thought we'd be happy forever" she said with a little chuckle. Naivety was something she did well. Even though she knew no relationship could exist peacefully forever, she never thought her relationship with Mark would have ended so abruptly. Granted, she was the one that ended it, she never thought the day would come when she would have to step away from their relationship. But even though they were broken up, that didn't stop her from loving him still. It was like trying to stop the rain from falling; impossible. And all this avoidance and fighting wasn't making the situation any less painful for either of them.

Mark turned his head to the side to look at her. His heart jumped when he noticed she was wearing his leather jacket. He still didn't know what possessed him to go into Meredith's house last night to drape it over her sleeping frame but he was glad he did. That jacket always seemed to look better on her than it ever did on him.

"What happened to us Lexie? We were good together, weren't we?"

Lexie looked up at him with sad eyes before replying. "Yeah, we were."

They sat in silence while they both gathered their respective chaotic thoughts together.

Mark sensed her take a deep breath before speaking. "Where's Sloan?"

He knew that it took a lot for her to ask that and his heart swelled a tiny bit at her concern.

"She's back with her mother."

"But I thought her mother kicked her out."

"When Samantha heard that Sloan was giving up the baby, she allowed Sloan to move back home."

Mark looked up in surprise when he felt Lexie's hand slip into his. She gripped it tightly between both of hers. The amount of love and compassion he felt in that one gesture made him fall in love with her all over again...even if at the moment, he was trying like hell to hate her.

"I'm so sorry Mark. I know how important getting to know Sloan and your grandchild was to you."

Mark shrugged halfheartedly, "I guess I wasn't as important to them as they were to me."

"Don't say that. You were-are" Lexie corrected herself "a great father. You've done more for that girl than most men would have...including offering to adopt the baby yourself."

Mark looked at her curiously. Lexie looked down and smiled sheepishly while tracing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

"Derek told me." She then looked softly into his eyes "I wish you would have told me. Even if we are fighting or whatever it is we're doing, you're still my best friend Mark."

Mark took in a harsh breath as he took in what she said. They sat there in silence as her words seemed to wrap around him in a loving embrace.

"You know," he started softly "I've told you things that I've never told anyone else. I've given you something I've never given anyone else" his voice lowered at the end of his sentence. They both knew what he meant without saying. Mark Sloan had given her his elusive heart.

"And you don't think I haven't done the same?" Lexie argued. The thought that Mark didn't believe he had her heart caused her anger to return two-fold. "_This was the problem_" she thought; he didn't think she was hurting as much as he was.

Mark took his hand from her grasp and folded his arms across his chest. No longer looking at her face and at those eyes that always sucked him in, he was able to _just barely_ shut his feelings off and to turn the pain and heartbreak on.

"I don't know. What I do know is that you didn't seem too heartbroken if you were able to jump into bed with someone right after breaking up with me."

_"Here we go again_" Lexie thought. Once again, he was making the breakup and consequent sex with other people all about _him_. Like he was the only one feeling sad and heartbroken and betrayed by everything that happened.

The momentary truce was over between them at his statement and Lexie could feel the rush of tears building behind her eyes. She always began to cry when she was angry or frustrated.

"You are an asshole." Lexie said as she pushed herself off the back of the couch.

Mark laughed without humor as he watched Lexie stand in front of him with arms folded across her chest. "_**I'm**_ the asshole?"

"Are you forgetting that you slept with Addison? You don't think that hurts me?! You don't think I can't get _that_ picture out of my head?!" With every word, Lexie's feet brought her closer to him. "How do you think that makes _me_ feel? Knowing that she was all over you? Doing things that only _I'm_ supposed to be doing."

At this point, Lexie's legs were almost pressed up against his knees and she was looking down at him. The rapid beating of their hearts and the rough sounds of their breath seemed to fill the room as they glared at each other.

Without thinking, Mark stood and roughly grabbed Lexie; holding her flush against his body. One of his arms held her tightly around the waist while his right hand cupped the back of her neck; he ignored the rush of pain the action caused his hand.

"I haven't thought about Addison since I left L.A. I haven't been thinking about a lot of things since you left me." Lexie suddenly found it hard to breathe as she stared into his eyes; eyes intense with emotion.

"All I_ can_ think about are_ his_ hands on you." Mark swallowed roughly before tightening his grip on her waist and neck; making it hard for her to move.

"_His_ fingers grabbing your hair" he said while sifting his own fingers through her chestnut locks. She shouldn't be feeling a rush of electricity as he did this, but she did. She felt it all the way down to her toes.

"_His_ lips on your lips" he continued while running a thumb across her soft bottom lip, causing her lips to part. Lexie couldn't help it. Just like she couldn't help the warm liquid pooling between her legs as a result of his touch. It was always hard to resist him when his hands were on her body.

"_Him_ touching something that belongs to **_me_**" he said, lowering his lips until they were hovering not a hair's length from hers; finishing his assault on her body and her emotions.

The heated blush coloring Lexie's face caused a stirring deep inside of him. He could feel something primitive inside him ordering to take her right there. To claim her right on the kitchen counter. Only the rush of surgery had ever been able to invoke the kind of passion currently coursing through his veins. No woman had ever made him feel like Lexie could. No woman had ever believed in him or given him a chance to prove the rumors about him wrong...and he hated the fact the she was no longer his.

"I don't belong to anyone" Lexie said while defiantly looking up into his face. No one had ever manhandled her like this and she wasn't about to let it start now...no matter how _good_ it felt.

"Let go of me" she demanded.

Mark reluctantly released her from his grip and he could feel a rushing emptiness fill his chest. It had been too long since he last held her and those small seconds holding her were not enough to satisfy him.

Lexie took a couple steps back in an attempt to keep space between them. She rubbed her arms roughly, trying to erase his touch, but she could still feel his arms around her. Arms she once thought she'd never be without and arms she thought she would never feel again.

The sound of two pagers simultaneously beeping brought the coming argument to a halt. They both checked their pagers to see that there was an emergency and they were both needed at the hospital. Rushing out of the apartment with barely a glance at each other, they both knew that this conversation was far from over.

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**Wow, I'm really surprising myself with these long chapters.**

**Reviews please!! =D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! It's been a long time since I've updated any of my stories. Part of it was that school started back up and is taking up all of my time. The other part is that I've hit some serious writer's block since the show has destroyed M/L. But I forced myself to sit down and write something. I'm also working on the next chapter of NEM. This story is obviously gonna be AU since I haven't watched any GA episodes since 6x14. **

**Here's the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or it's characters.**

**All mistakes are mine. I might be a bit rusty.  
**

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**Lexie tiredly rubbed a hand over her eyes while adjusting the bag on her shoulder. She was exhausted. All she wanted to do was to get back to Meredith's, she could never really call that place home...not when home was always where _he_ was, and take a nice long bath. Maybe even have a glass of wine...anything to get her mind off of today.

It felt like she had been running a marathon the entire day; with trying to keep up with her patients plus the added stress of Mark ignoring her once again. For the entire day, Lexie tried in vain to get Mark to talk to her. She had to admit, the way he managed to avoid her was comical and sort of impressive in the beginning. When Mark really didn't want to see you, you never saw him. Even Derek, who was surprisingly nice to her even though she broke his best friend's heart, had no idea where he was. Lexie brushed it off at the time but the entire reality of the situation hit her while she was treating Cristina's sex injury. Seeing firsthand the kind of passion a couple was supposed to have made her start to cry all over Cristina's bare ass. She was never going to have a sex injury again...at least not with Mark. And the thought of having a sex injury with someone else made her sick to her stomach. Her heart sank when she couldn't even remember the last time they actually had sex...and whenever she thought about the last time _she_ had sex, she wanted to throw up right on her own scrubs.

Staring at the closed elevator doors, she thought that after the painful conversation they had in his apartment, they were closer to maybe cleaning up the mess they made or at least past him not talking to her. She wasn't naive enough to think that they would magically get back together but she hoped that they could still be friends. He was, after all, her best friend and the first guy she ever pictured spending the rest of her life with. That kind of connection couldn't just go away because of their break-up.

_Right?_

But as hard as she tried to talk to him, Mark tried even harder to make himself scarce. For some reason he had reverted back to making her feel like she didn't exist...to making her feel like she didn't matter. Every time she approached him, he would just ignore her and quickly leave the room. The act of making her feel irrelevant and unimportant was what hurt her the most.

By the end of the day, Lexie's nerves were fried and her emotional control was on thin ice; control that was rapidly slipping when she looked up and saw Mark stepping into the elevator.

At first, Lexie tried to ignore the pang in her chest. It was getting more painful every second to be so close to him, yet no longer able to touch him. Her heart fluttered when she thought of how roughly he grabbed her earlier that morning. It had been too long since he last touched her and those precious few seconds were not enough. Nothing would ever be enough with him. He was as addicting as the most powerful drug and she could feel her body starting to feel the withdrawal effects of being without his touch for so long.

As they rode the elevator in silence, she could feel the heat of his gaze on her back. The waves of uneasiness and discomfort he was sending her made her sick. When she thought about how obviously uncomfortable he looked when the elevator doors prevented him from leaving the small space, something broke inside of her.

---

She ran away from him.

Lexie actually ran away from him.

She used to say that just being around him was like a soothing balm for her aches; now she was running away from him like he had the plague.

Mark watched in shock as she ran out of the elevator; her dark brown hair rippling behind her like ribbons. Soft hair that his fingers had once spent hours getting lost in while his body was busy getting intimately lost in hers.

When he saw her face contort in an attempt to hold back tears, he unconsciously moved forward to comfort her. Every cell in his body wanted to move forward and comfort every cell in hers. It was a deeply ingrained habit; practically instinctual for him to want to envelop her in his arms and shield her from whatever was causing her pain.

He admits that when he first stepped into the elevator, he didn't really try hard enough to leave. A part of him, a ridiculously big part, wanted to stay trapped in that elevator with her. Mark missed Lexie so much he was willing to withstand yelling or lectures about how immature and hypocritical he was being. Being in that elevator filled him with so many different emotions he thought could never mix together.

_Disgust _with what she did.

_Happiness_ just being close to her.

_Sadness _that he was going home alone to an empty apartment.

_Regret_ that they were apart.

_Lusting_ to shove her against the wall and erase _his_ touch from her body.

It was a strange combination of feelings he had never felt before. Not even when Addison broke his heart.

The elevator doors shut and Mark's gaze caught his reflection in the closed doors. Cold blue eyes met their mirror image and he felt sick. He was causing the pain that made her bolt away in tears. All day he was conscious of his own pain, like it was a living and breathing tumor sucking the life out of him, that he didn't think of her own pain until that moment. Seeing her tears drilled home the realization that she was also hurting; a fact he tried as hard as hell to ignore. It was easier to be angry with her if he thought she didn't care about him.

A painful churning began in his belly; not for the first time since this entire mess began. The churning that started when Lexie broke up with him and continued to churn long after finding out Lexie slept with Karev. It had been one huge cooking pot of disgust and anger directed toward the only person that he ever loved.

Mark was instantly transported back to when Addison aborted their child all those years ago...the only other time that he felt the way he feels now. There had also been anger, disgust, disappointment and the crushing pain of heartbreak that threatened to kill him. But the only difference between losing that child and losing Lexie was that in the case of his unborn child, he had no idea what he was missing. He never knew what it was like to hold a newborn that was his own; someone who depended on him and loved him unconditionally. With his unborn child, he mostly mourned for the loss of possibilities a child could have offered to his life.

When Sloane first entered his life, he thought that he would finally be able to feel that familial connection. That at last, he would be able to have that special bond between a parent and child. But as hard as he tried with her, he had come to the painful realization that they would never have a close relationship.

With Lexie, he knew _exactly_ what he was missing. That first kiss in his hotel room had told him everything he ever needed to know; that she was going to change his life forever. That she was going to take the jagged pieces of his heart and put them back together. As time went on, he knew in his heart that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. She was the one he wanted to have babies with. The one he wanted to come home to every night. She might have come to his hotel that night begging but for every night (and sometimes day) after, he would be the one begging at her beautiful feet.

He knows now that he never had a choice; that he was doomed from the beginning. Lexie was like gravity. Like he told Callie, it wasn't just the sex; just being near her made his empty heart fill with something it's been lacking for way too long. No matter how hard he tried to stay away, there was always something pulling him back to her.

The elevator dinged and Mark snapped out of his thoughts. The doors opened and once again, he was in the presence of someone who made his blood boil...and not in a good way.

Alex absently nodded to Mark before pressing the button to close the elevator doors.

"Hey" Alex said, oblivious to how his mere presence was filling Mark with rage. Mark wondered if Alex thought him wouldn't hit him again just because they were in the hospital. Mark's hand unconsciously clenched, pulsing with energy as if it knew it's owner was going to pummel someone's face.

Mark's silence caused Alex to look back and see the murderous glare aimed at him.

"Dude, what's your problem?"

"You slept with Lexie."

"Your point?"

Mark's heated gaze didn't waver "You slept with Lexie."

Alex rolled his eyes "And I heard you slept with Addison."

"You slept with Lexie" Mark repeated.

"Dude, are you a freaking record player? Yeah, I slept with Lexie. You slept with Addison. From where I'm standing that makes you even. Now can you please take that stick out of your ass and talk to her." Alex let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head "Just...talk to her. She keeps whining and bothering me, complaining how you won't look at her. It's annoying as hell."

Without another word, Alex walked out of the elevator seconds later when the doors opened, leaving a conflicted Mark behind.

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**Please let me know what you think and review! =D**


	6. Chapter 6

**I was ready to publish this chapter after one more round of editing but for some reason, inspiration struck. This new version of chapter six is now almost double the length of the original chapter so I hope you enjoy it =)  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or it's characters. I'm just playing with them for a while. Any and all mistakes are mine.  
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**Warning: It's a bit faster paced than the other chapters. It also gets a bit (ok A LOT) angsty at the end. I'm still feeling frustrated with how the characters are being treated on the show so it carried over into my writing XD  
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After recovering from the shock of Karev giving him relationship advice, and that he actually let him leave the elevator unscathed, Mark left the hospital in search of Lexie.

As he briskly walked out of the elevator, he realized that as painful as it was merely talking to Lexie (or not talking as the case was,) he felt more alive just being in the same space with her then he ever does anywhere else. When he's around her, his heart beats a little bit harder. His blood races a little bit faster. It's like he's been living his life in black and white until Lexie shoved her way into his hotel room and his heart; thrusting a barrage of color onto the canvas of his world.

Everyone was right. Ignoring her wasn't going to fix him. It wasn't beneficial in any way.

Mark burst out of the hospital and jumped into his convertible, ignoring the glares and outcries of the people he accidentally bumped into as he ran past them. As he started his car, he mentally listed all the places Lexie might have gone before peeling out of the hospital's parking lot.

Breaking a few speeding laws as he went.

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Brushing back a stray piece of hair behind her ear, Lexie wiped the few tears that graced her cheek. She looked down at the grave marker and felt a rushing sense of loneliness; a feeling that was multiplied when she looked back at the object in her hand. At first, she had thought it was just a random spare key but then she noticed the small 'L' she had scratched on the flat surface of the key not so long ago. This key served as a reminder of a happier time in her life...a time she sorely missed with her entire being.

When she had found it in his leather jacket earlier, a rare sliver of hope flashed through her core. There must have been a reason Mark was still carrying it around with him and she desperately hoped that it was because he missed her as much as she missed him. But after seeing the way he was treating her today, she had no idea what to think anymore. There were so many mixed signals and it was driving her insane.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," a deep voice said from behind her. Lexie jumped and the key fell from her hands onto the ground as she spun around. There, standing a couple feet away from her, was Mark with what looked like a relieved expression on his face...like he was glad to have finally found her. Something else to add to the growing list of mixed signals.

Lexie warily watched as he walked towards her, almost hesitantly, like a predator approaching his prey. Or maybe he thought she was going to burst into tears again. She could feel herself turning red as she remembered running out of the elevator a mere one hour earlier; shooting out of that elevator like there were dogs chasing her heels. She had promised herself that she would never let him see how badly she was hurting. Great job she was doing so far.

Although it didn't surprise her that he would know where to find her, the fact that he _came after her_ confused her to the highest degree. The last thing she ever expected was to see him here, standing in front of her in a dark and deserted cemetery.

"I could say the same for you." She responded, referring to the way he had been acting like a living ghost the entire day.

Mark stayed silent but she was pleased to see that he at least had the sense to look slightly ashamed. Maybe there was some hope for him yet.

"What are you doing here Mark?" She asked.

Mark shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged, "I was worried about you." He said this while looking away from her, like he was ashamed to admit feeling worried for her. Lexie stayed silent at his admission but her heart warmed slightly at his concern. It was moments like these that she could see the man she had fallen in love with underneath that rough (and sometimes immature) exterior.

Noticing that she wasn't going to speak, he cleared his throat and nodded at the headstone in front of her. "I would have been here sooner but I had gone to your mom's grave first."

"I already visited my mom. I came here because no one else visits him." Lexie pointed to the lack of flowers on the grave. "Ever since he died, it's like he never existed" she said with a sad tone.

"None of this should have happened," she suddenly thought out loud. "George wasn't supposed to die. Izzie wasn't supposed to disappear-"

"We weren't supposed to break up" Mark interrupted with a soft voice. Lexie watched as he picked up a blade of grass and ripped it into pieces.

"But they did happen. George did die. Izzie did leave...we did break up," she added in a low voice, willing him to look at her but he was making it a point to look in every direction but hers.

When he still refused to look at her, Lexie closed the distance between them and placed her hand on his face. Something inside of her, that ingrained sense of nurturing, compelled her to touch him. Hearing that dejected tone in his voice had stirred the need to comfort him. She almost expected him to back away from her but he stayed still. Almost as if he was trying to prove to himself that he was stronger than her. When she felt his jaw tense underneath her fingers, Lexie could see the strain her touch was causing him. Her own hand was burning from the invisible heat always present between them. But still, he refused to look at her.

Lexie raised her other hand and held his face between her palms. She turned his face so that he would have no choice but to look at her but he just closed his eyes.

"Mark. Please."

The begging sound in her voice caused Mark to open his eyes. He reluctantly raised his electric blue eyes up to meet her warm chocolate ones. What seemed like a million emotions began to flutter across his face as she stared into it. Pain, anger, sadness...they were all there. But the one emotion that stood out above all the rest, was that unmistakable look of adoration he always seemed to express when he looked at her. The look that always reinforced what they had was real and true.

Without a second thought, Lexie stood on her toes and placed a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth. When she pulled back, he was looking at her strangely. They stood for a moment, almost as if they were stunned by the small intimate kiss. That was the closest their lips have been in what seemed like a lifetime and by the heated look that was now on his face, Lexie knew that that was something he wanted to remedy.

His hands grabbed the open edges of the leather jacket she was still wearing and with a quick pull, Mark brought Lexie flush against his body. His lips roughly pushed against hers and Lexie softly moaned as his entire being invaded her senses. After a moment, their lips were suddenly giving and taking with an intensity Lexie had never felt before. It was as if something inside of her clicked into place with the touch of his lips to hers. This would always be the place she wanted to be. Always with him.

Their lips momentarily parted when the need for oxygen became too much. Mark rested his forehead against hers and she closed her eyes in contentment.

"I missed this. I missed _you_" he whispered softly.

She had longed to hear those words for so long. "I missed you too."

They both held each other tightly as they tried to regain their breaths.

"I forgive you" he said, whispering the words softly across her face.

Her eyes flew open and a mixture of anger and sadness suddenly flooded her body. A broken sob left her mouth as she pulled away from him; an instant cold emptiness crashing over her when she did. It took her a moment to reign her feelings back in before she could face him again.

"_You forgive **me**_?" Lexie repeated in disbelief. She could feel the tears forming behind her eyes but she willed herself not to cry.

Mark took a couple steps in her direction, ignoring her looks of warning. "Yeah." The sudden change in her mood was obviously confusing him. "What's wrong?"

The fact that he had no idea why his words bothered her, was infuriating. It caused a small part of her long to see him in pain. To inflict some sort of violence on him. To see him punished for the way he's been punishing her and making her feel invisible and unwanted. So she did the first thing that came to mind. She shoved him.

Mark uncharacteristically stumbled backward and gave her a look of surprise. "What the hell Lexie." The only answer she gave him was another push. When he saw her move to give him a third shove, he trapped her wrists in his hands.

"Lexie!"

"Let go of me!" she yelled while struggling to get out of his grasp.

Mark let her go and was immediately rewarded when she punched him.

"Ow!" he exclaimed while rubbing his arm.

Lexie continued to punch him "You are such a hypocrite. A sexist, hypocritical asshole!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't just kiss me_ like that_ and expect me to forget everything. You can't just ignore me for days and then tell me you miss me!"

"But I did-I do miss you Lexie." Mark said in a confused voice.

"You...you are such an asshole." She reiterated.

"Lexie, I don't understand."

"Because apparently I'm the only one who made a mistake here. I'm the only one that needs _forgiveness_" she spat the word back at him.

Frustration crossed his face. "You broke up with me remember!?"

"So what? That doesn't mean I'm responsible for everything that happened before or after."

"_You_ left _me_ Lexie. I didn't force you to break up with me. You decided that all on your own." There was now anger in his voice as well.

"I thought we already went over this. You gave me no choice Mark. _You decided all on your own,_" she said, throwing his words back at him, "to invite your pregnant teenage daughter to move in with us without talking to me about it...when I was just getting used to the idea of moving in myself. I wasn't ready for that."

By the look on his face, she could tell that what she just said had hurt him.

"If you weren't ready to move in with me, why did you?" he said in a low voice.

"Because I loved you and wanted to make you happy."

"I thought you were happy living with me" Lexie tried to ignore the childlike pain in his voice.

"For a while, I was. But then Sloan showed up and you started ignoring me. You started making decisions without me."

"I thought you would be proud of me. I thought you would be there by my side and support me."

"That's the problem. _You thought_. You never asked me how _I_ was feeling. You didn't ask me for any input in our relationship. While I was there for you, you weren't there for me. You ignored me and pushed me aside."

"It isn't just about you Lexie." Mark pinched the bridge of his nose. "Addison was right. You are a child."

As soon as those words left his mouth, Lexie felt like someone had sucker punched her in the gut. And even though the look on his face showed regret for having said those words out loud, they were still out there...and they hurt like hell.

"You spoke to Addison about me? About us?" came her pained question. She could tell that he was starting to feel panicked. Deciphering his facial expressions was a talent she had become well practiced in.

"This was after we broke up," Mark was quick to point out. He seemed to love playing the 'breakup card' when it came to his actions post-breakup.

Lexie crossed her arms over her chest, "So did you have this conversation before or after you slept with Addison?"

Mark clenched his jaw before answering in a clipped tone, "After."

Lexie felt like throwing up. Not only had he slept with a woman he used to be in love with, but he had discussed_ their relationship_ with her in post-coital bliss.

"I can't do this anymore" she said, throwing her hands up.

"What do you mean?" He asked, worry coloring his words.

"I can't be the only one at fault here. I thought that maybe you showing up tonight was you finally realizing that you were also wrong. That you wanted to find a way to make us work."

"I do want to make us work" Mark said, moving closer.

She held her hands up to halt his movement towards her. "Stop."

They stood in silence as she quickly tried to gather her chaotic thoughts. "Just...leave me alone. I need time to think."

Lexie turned away from him and started to slowly make her journey away from him.

"I love you." His voice was barely a whisper but she still heard it.

The words caused something inside of her to shatter and for the second time that night, Lexie ran away from him in tears.

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For the second time, Mark watched Lexie run away from him crying. The only difference this time was that he wasn't going to go after her. The look on her face and the tone in her voice had made it perfectly clear that she wanted nothing to do with him right now. Even if he did ignore those signs and went after her, he would have no idea what to say to her if he did.

When he had kissed her earlier, everything seemed to click into place. Like all was finally right in his world...and by the way she reciprocated the kiss, he knew she had felt it too. He thought that by saying he forgave her, they could go back to the way things used to be. That they could once again go back to being the best versions of themselves together. But after seeing her reaction to his _forgiveness_, there was something he was still obviously missing.

Mark rubbed a tired hand over his face. There was definitely something he wasn't getting but he was too exhausted to try and figure it out now. There was a bottle of some expensive bourbon in his apartment, waiting to escort him into oblivion.

As he turned to leave the cemetery, a glint of silver caught his eye. Lexie must have dropped it when he startled her earlier.

Mark bent down and his heart sank when he held the object in his hand. It was Lexie's key to his apartment.

Yes, oblivion seemed perfect right about now.

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